colour

In the second of my posts highlighting the link between eyebrow styling and social conduct, I shall explore the issue of colour. The colour of one's eyebrows is a very important aspect of life and strongly affects the way you present yourself to the world. Depending on which colour you are naturally given, or choose to impose on your eyebrows, this can indicate a number of different personality traits - but interestingly this compartmentalisation only seems to apply to females and not males, although male mate selection criteria is also often generally based on eyebrow colour. As a whole, the colour of your eyebrows is the way in which many choose or reject a mate. For example, human females with lighter eyebrows are seen as naturally stupid, sexually liberal and morally loose. Therefore they may choose to either highlight this preconception or dismiss it by darkening their eyebrows. Those with darker eyebrows, however, are often seen as feisty, morally turgid and even needy - something which again can be altered by changing the colour of their eyebrows should they wish to shake this perception. Some people even change the colour of their eyebrows to adhere more to the above perceptions and pander to males' eyebrow colour fetishes - for example lightening their brows to appear morally loose or darkening their brows to appear more feisty. 

Wanting to appear more morally loose?

I have been reliably informed that even those with ginger eyebrows suffer due to their colour - during the summer months they lighten, clearly then subjecting their owner to the plights of the lighter-browed as mentioned above. Darker, more obviously ginger eyebrows also bafflingly often receive a barrage of insults from passers-by, for no apparent reason other than their red hue. In the North-East of England, there have even been incidents of egg-throwing at those with ginger eyebrows, an inexplicable pastime. Based on these assumptions, eyebrow colour affects trans-gender interaction. This is also apparent in the animal world, where for example cats with dark eyebrows are becoming rare as they are never chosen as a mate due to the colour of their eyebrows.

thickness

In my first few posts I aim to cover the basics of eyebrow styling and its impact upon society. The thickness of someone's eyebrows is a lesser known trait by which we judge their general aptitude at life. Unbeknown to us, we are being judged by the thickness of our eyebrows all the time. All through my life I have been haunted by the following questions - do thick eyebrows mean you are lazy? Do thin eyebrows mean you are more reliable? Do thin eyebrows make you more likeable? Do thin eyebrows make you more employable? How thin are thin eyebrows before they make you look high maintenance? Am I being rejected in the workplace for having thick eyebrows which make me look lazy and unreliable? Is it better to look lazy and unreliable than high maintenance? Do I not get attention from the opposite sex just because of the thickness of my eyebrows? Do I not get served in bars because of the thickness of my eyebrows? Do my thicker eyebrows make me look poor? Can you judge someone's social background from the thickness of their eyebrows? Eyebrow discrimination is rife.

Poor?

Lazy?

More employable?

intro

However much I try, I cannot escape eyebrows. They are staring at me in the mirror every morning, they are staring at me in magazines and newspapers and in Facebook photos and in YouTube videos. The focus on eyebrows everywhere in popular culture has made me seriously question my own eyebrows - are my eyebrows too thick? Do I want them to be thinner? Should they look like Sienna Miller's eyebrows? Is that the cultural norm? Are men's eyebrows focused on less than women's eyebrows? Is that wrong? Am I worrying about my eyebrows too much? Are these questions symbolic of something deeper and more meaningful, perhaps politics, or economics, or the destruction of the modern world as we know it? Or am I just really bored and wanting to satirise something. We shall find out.